When I was asked to be a bridesmaid I decided that I would go natural and relax my hair only when we got closer to the wedding date.

I started my journey with protective styles and after three weeks I would get my hair treated. After the treatment I would give my hair a break  before I went back to the salon to start the process again. 

This was my routine until last year. Two weeks before the wedding I relaxed my hair. I was so excited to see how long it was and I received positive feedback on  the length of it. 

On the morning of the wedding we were busy rehearsing when I saw a taxi pull up the driveway. She received a call to inform her of the the hairdresser’s arrival. 

She asked me to meet up with her and let her know what we were up to and to give us a few moments before she could  start working on our hair.  

She was standing by the taxi and smoking a cigarette. I walked towards her and introduced myself. 

I relayed the message to her and she told me not to worry, she would wait for us.

Before I left to join the bridal party I took an opportunity to discuss the hairstyles she had in mind for the bridesmaids. 

The bride wanted all of us to have straight, loose hair as she was going to have her hair in a bun. There were three of us. 

Two of us would have natural hair and the other lady had a weave on. 

When I compared myself to the other ladies my hair was not long enough. I became self conscious as she started examining my hair. There was a sigh of relief when she assured me that I had nothing to worry about, she would be able to work with my hair and do something I would be comfortable with.

I was happy with the hairstyle I had for the wedding. I urged myself to enjoy it as that day will be the last time I would relax my hair again. 

It has been a year and 5 months since I made that decision.

The transition from relaxed to natural hair has not been an easy one for me. I have had set backs on this journey that I started panicking about not being able to achieve what I had envisioned my hair would look like.

 I started checking out different sites on natural hair. The information overwhelmed me and when I looked at all the photos of different styles I became insecure about my own hair.

I started having doubts about whether or not this was the right decision for me.  Was I wasting my time? 

I wanted my hair to look exactly like it did from the pictures I saw on the screen.

During the week as I continued with  my search I came across a page on actress Teyonah Parris. When I read about what she went through during the transitioning stage I was comforted to know that I was not the only one. I could relate with her struggles in the early stages  and was inspired by how she got to a place to accept her hair. Her patience and acceptance of that journey with her hair led her to beautiful, healthy strong looking hair.

Something she said made a profound impact on me which helped me make the decision to stop complaining and comparing myself to other people as my journey was different from theirs.

” I love my nappy edges, my clump in the middle that never dries completely, the shrunken, fluffy, coarse kinks that God has blessed me with! Took me a long time to accept that my twisting will never look like those IG pictures I drooled over in their ability to achieve an immaculate twistout, that my edges will never be SLICKED FOR DA GAAAWDS, that my hair will consistently be inconsistent, and that’s everything I’ve learned to love about it! Girl, you gotta learn to love what God gave ya and stop looking over there to the left!”

#hairgoals

Until next time

K

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