What would you do if you find out that someone you are in a relationship with is lying to you?

Picture this: You are invited to go shopping on a Saturday morning. This is supposed to be a surprise, a gift for your upcoming birthday. You are grateful that this person has taken time out of her busy schedule to help you pick out new clothes. No budget is set. All you have to do is make sure that you have everything you need. Someone else was paying for it.

You agreed to get food for lunch after the shopping was done but before you could think about food, you decide to put all the bags in the car.  You would meet her partner at home as he was still at work. 

You are glad that the shopping is done and you are looking forward to an afternoon of rest and catching up with her partner. 

Finally you get home. Before you take out the plastic bags from the boot, she starts searching the plastics for specific items of clothing. You see her taking the items  and hide them behind the folder she had in her boot.

You do not think anything strange about her action, you just ignore it. You offload the rest of the plastics and start taking  all your new stuff into the house. Her partner arrives and asks for her car keys to fill the car and check her tyre pressure. We are waiting for him to return from the petrol station to show him what we have bought. As she is trying to show you how to coordinate the outfits, he looks at one of the items  and comments on it. He noticed that this was something she would have bought for herself and was surprised that she did not. 

She replied by telling him that she will buy it one day. You are surprised to see her lie with a straight face because you know where she had hidden it. The thing is she had bought some stuff she thought they needed.  She could have said she was glad he knew her well, showed him the jersey and put it in the plastic they were taking home with.

You did not want to say anything because it would have spoiled the afternoon and the joyous mood you were in.

During the lunch you thought how disrespectful she was because not only was she lying,  she had put you in a difficult situation. You knew you were going ahead with what she was saying. You were already taking part in her lie. 

You get angry. The headache you were trying to ignore was getting worse and you needed to drink something to make you feel better.

When they left the house you asked yourself why would you allow yourself to be placed in this predicament?

You tried to understand the reason of not speaking up.

  1. Was it because you were afraid of the consequences you were to face when you spoke up?
  2. Was it because you were afraid of what it would mean for their relationship if you got involved?
  3. What would it mean for your relationship with them if you brought it up?
  4. Would he have appreciated finding out the truth from you and knowing you were the reason there was a rift between them?

What would you have done in this situation?

Until next time

K

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