​It was the end of the day. I had eaten supper and watched tv when it was time for me to reflect on the day I had. I was tired and I did not want to think about it. I wanted to avoid it but I knew that I will not be able to rest until I could take the thoughts out of my head.

Dear God

I woke up this morning 10 minutes late. I was not worried because I knew I still had time to get ready  for work.  As I was getting ready I started thinking about my past. I thought about all the things I had gone through, everyone who had ever treated me badly which led to feelings of anger and resentment. An hour later I felt tired. I felt overwhelmed and I had not even started my day. As soon as I arrived at the office I felt anxious. I was losing control. I was not the same person I was the day before.

I went to the bathroom to shake off the negative feelings I had but it was not working. I tried to distract myself from thinking about my anger by doing some work, which was  useless.

I did not accomplish anything during the day. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin and I wanted the joyful feeling I had the day before. It wasn’t there. I couldn’t get myself to feel free as I did the day before. 

I wanted to know why I felt this way. I wanted to find out what put me in this mood.

I realised that my mood changed because of the negative thoughts I had when I woke up in the morning. The thoughts changed the course of my day.

Prayer to God –  Please help me come to a place where I can make peace with the past. Please teach me how to let it go and a chance to look forward to the future. 

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